getting ready

Photo by J. Lorito

By: J. Lorito

when I smell cigarettes

I see her

getting ready

in the mirror

of the living room

Evangeline with pink lipstick

caked on

chapped lips

& a cigarette

stolen from

grandpa’s shirt pocket

she was everything

performing for me

I memorized

how she watched herself

feed her mouth

while talking to me

quick glances

through the mirror

she taught me to lie

we fucked around drunk

with a slinky

dying hair

pissing in her sink

we would steal

from Zellers

then sit in the

The Skillet

& charm the

waitress for

free fries—

her grit

my innocence

we were an

unstoppable

improv team

it never dawned

on me she might

be working me

in grade 9

E. walked me up to

older guys

like her prop

told them

I was her little

sister

eliciting

the comparison—

they scoped out

our tits & cunts & hips

in kilts

in approval

she laughed

then pulled me away

E. owned me

sidekick

for all crime

stole a car

summer

going into

grade 9

wine coolers

& rollerblading

heckling

ushers at the

movies

we could be

doing anything—

walking up

to Beckers

for popsicles—

it was all funny

like we had created comedy

we were tapped in

drunk on collecting

characters & stories

I was in love

with her brother

she may

have tried

to fuck mine—

but who cared?

nothing compared

to us & our ongoing show

until a boy

punctured the comedy

he used E.

then moved on

to woo me

it divided us

the jealousy

but we never

talked about it

not really

years later

as young adults

drinking

rye & ginger

in my backyard

we divulged

old secrets:

we were both

duped

& discarded

he had gone

to the bar bragging

that he bagged us both

we raised our glasses

held the moment

remembering

who we were

before him

then stumbled

down the hill

to the empty tavern

harassed

the staff

like we used to

E. danced on a pole

to make me laugh

& we shut the place down

later that year

the tavern

burned to the ground

local landmark

took a while

to rebuild

now a convenience store